The Last Man Standing
by Seriously Yours
Summary: The Slytherins thought they've invented the perfect weapon,the one thing that can bring the Marauders to their knees. But they forgot that even the best of weapons can be turned against them.
1. Chapter 1 Disaster Averted

**The Last Man Standing**

**#1 Disaster averted.**

The sixth year Slytherins looked up uneasily as someone could be heard cackling crazily in the corridor leading up to the Slytherin common room.

"That sounds like Sev" stated Goyle looking worriedly at Lucius for guidance, "Shouldn't we evacuate immediately?"

In any other circumstances Lucius Malfoy would have snorted scornfullyat the seeming paranoia of his henchman, but at that moment he mentally viewed Goyle's suggestion as pretty appealing. One: he recognized The Laugh. He'd had the misfortune to hear it more than once, since he bought one Severus Snape a mobile extra-lightweight self heating, self stirring customized cauldron. And through painful and embarrassing experience learned that The Laugh is followed by either a) Grievous bodily injury b) Irreversible dress robe mutilation and/or c)a long and dreary sleepless night trying to salvage what remained following an aftermath of a potion related devastation. Two: The Time. It was one minute past twelve. Even the most non superstitious wizard would take _all necessary and sufficient precautions_ if they had resided in a dorm room that also included a Snape. As they would prudently know that HE preferred to Strike around midnight. But most of all what made Goyle's words ring true was the mysterious and (doubtlessly deadly) blue vapor that was sneaking its way under the door frame.

Lucius leaped up from the armchair that he was sprawled on just moments ago, knocking an infuriated Narcissa unceremoniously to the floor from her perch on his lap. He shielded his aristocratic nose with a black silk 'hand embroided' handkerchief and took a determined step backwards, directing the others to: "Back away….. Slowly...NOW"

As the others hurried to obey his order to the word, the Entranceway slammed open; revealing a tall boy whose eyes stared fixedly from behind a screen of greasy black hair. He held one arm in front of him, his fingers curled around a glass vial which was releasing the aforementioned noxious fumes. His coal black eyes never left the apparent treasure in his hand, even though he continued to laugh maniacally.

Behold! Severus Snape had arrived.

"You seemed to have forgotten the thunder and lightning Severus, They would've made your entrance more…. dramatique" smirked Narcissa boldly even though Lucius saw her eyes scan all possible exits.

Unfazed, Severus raised his treasure up to the candle lit chandelier making the light dance off the fuming electric blue liquid. "This" he declared in a voice of suppressed emotion. "is the end." "This is the answer" "This…. "Has to stop now or I'll be forced to take certain _actions_ which I assure you wouldn't find agreeable." Concluding that neither Snape nor the foul blue fumes weren't an immediate threat; Lucius decided it was time to reestablish his dominance and control of the situation.

Snape's eyes snapped out of their possessed state, and the familiar scowl twisted his features as he stared at his child hood friend. "As I was saying" he continued, but now with the customary sneer inserted firmly and comfortingly. A bad tempered Snape was the best the Slytherins had come to expect, a possessed Snape was entirely another thing, a more dangerous other thing, "This- is- the- key to destroy those blasted Gryffindors and end their immature pranks once and for all. Three drops that's all we need." Severus paused to examine his creation with malicious pride.

"Er. Its poison? Crabbe asked puzzled. He thought Lucius explicitly banned Murder _that could be traced back to the instigator,_ way back in third year.

"No moron" it's a See Allpotion. With this we'll be able to see through Potter's damned invisibility cloak. I swear this is the end of their infernal sneaking around." Severus swept hair out of his eyes with his free hand and glared around at his house mates, daring them to contradict him.

"Any after effects?" Lucius asked unperturbedly, yet all the while his mind examining all the possibilities that the potion opened up. _All the glorious possibilities………_

"Eh?"

"Come now Sev. Any particular repercussions that we ought to know?" Lucius wasn't surprised to notice that Narcissa had managed to regain her icy composure within seconds.

"Well". Severus sneered, reaching out for the empty goblets on a side table. "There's only one way to find out."


	2. Chapter 2 Revenge is always sweet

**#2 Revenge is always sweet and never stale.**

As the four wary Slytherins watched Snape pour the required amounts of potion with precise practiced movements, four very different thoughts were swirling through their respective brains.

'_Wonder if it tastes like blue berry essence?_' That was Goyle.

'_So we can see through the invisibility cloak, then what? Murder perhaps?_ Crabbe truly had a one track mind.

'_Well well well, if the potion could make you see through invisibility cloaks what about_ _other fabrics? Namely dress robe fabric.'_ Lucius turned to appraise Narcissa, speculatively. _'Hmm we'll soon know.'_

'_Time to make my exit!'_ Narcissa caught Lucius's gaze and interpreted it correctly.

"Crabbe, Goyle better put on some over-coats. I prefer not to be scarred for life"

For a long moment the two goons stared at Severus incomprehensibly, and then slowly as if a flickering lamp had spluttered to life, recognition dawned.

"Oh" flushing beet red they retreated to put on some cover, while Lucius hastened to do the same.

"How come...?" began Narcissa, draping on a swirling cape.

"Because the potion is too weak to see through more than one layer, whether it be magic or material." narrated Severus in his supercilious '_You know I know more than you know'_ tone.

"Too bad! I was hoping to see what animal had to rot in your brain for it to function so smoothly." shot back Narcissa.

"I could always strengthen 'your' dose………." Severus made as if to pour some more potion into one goblet.

"Enough!" Lucius decided that a Narcissa/ Snape feud was too time consuming no matter how entertaining it was.

"Tonight we experiment and strategize. Tomorrow we STRIKE!"

"To Slytherin!"

Five voices toasted as five goblets clinked.

Unfortunately for the Slytherins, thoughts of sweet revenge distracted them from observing that the entry way had opened and closed ever so silently.

**In The Warmth of the Gryffindor Dormitory:**

"I wish…." began James as he glanced at the dormitory window.

"Wait! Let me guess," cut in Remus Lupin pretending to think hard.

"You wish it was full moon."

"No wait. You wish it was Friday."

"Oh how stupid can I be? You wish gorgeous Lily Evans would take a stand and publicly declare her undying love for you and finally acknowledge you as her one and only boyfriend?"

Peter snickered as James narrowed his eyes at Remus in mock anger.

"Actually Moon Boy I wish for a stronger friendship and better understanding between Magic and Muggle communities and that people would stop stepping on pretty flowers and let them grow in peace." smirked James with a '_Beat that. If you can' _look on his face. The arrogant look dissolved immediately and his face heated up when he realized what he had just said.

Remus and Peter erupted in to gleeful laughter.

"Behold James the Almighty Defender and Fearless Guardian of hapless flowers in distress." Remus forced out between howls.

"Oi James should we stop trampling all flowers or _One flower in particular?_" grinned Peter nastily. "Like Lilies for example?"

"Oh grow up!"

James snapped, hoping with all his heart that Sirius would finish whatever reconnaissance shit he was doing and waltz into the dormitory and start performing the wolftrot or what ever complex muggle-dance his Muggle Studies teacher rambled on for hours about, if only it served to distract his so called friends from their full-scale mock-athon.

As it was his prayers were answered. Sirius Black hurtled into the room with all the force of a mini tornado. However he did not have to execute the fox trot to grab the attention of his best friends; the fanatical gleam in his eyes warned his fellow pranksters that Sirius had encountered Snape.

"Guys" Sirius's gray eyes traveled from one Marauder to the next as the suspense grew.

"You- won't- believe- what-I-saw."


	3. Chapter 3 The Perfect Plan

**#3 The Perfect Plan**

Pin drop silence ensued in the dorm room after Sirius related all that he had seen and heard in the Serpents' Nest. Each marauder contemplated the potentially disastrous information in silence and was trying to come to terms with the unspoken repercussions of Sirius's latest intelligence report.

"Well Thank Merlin its one more week till full moon." saidRemus quietly. "Wont Christmas come early to Snape if he could catch us sneaking out and you three transforming? At least now we can be prepared for the worst. Padfoot old friend, I'm sorry if I ever gave you a hard time about your little midnight excursions they might just keep us from getting expelled."

Sirius brushed aside Remus's apology with a wave of his hand, his face set in a mask of anger. "That stupid git has taken one step too far; I'm going to drown him in his stinking cauldron. Just see if I don't."

"Calm down Sirius. We'll assassinate Snape later. Let's plan on how to destroy the potion." James hurried to smooth the tense mood.

"Not worth the trouble. You know Snape. He'd make more. He's probably memorized the method by now." Peter nervously cracked his knuckles. As unregistered underage animagi Peter knew expulsion was the certain outcome of discovery.

"You got to hand it to him though. Snape must have gone through hell and high water to make that potion considering it took him six years to make it since finding out about the cloak in our first year and how happy Sirius claims he was to finish it." Remus said in grudging admiration.

"What else Moony? Shall I help you knit the "Snape for President" banner too? Sirius snapped testily obviously teetering on edge.

"Unless…." breathed Remus with an odd glint in his eyes choosing to ignore Sirius. "Unless we turn the potion against them"

"Huh? You mean we take the potion too? Thanks but I don't fancy seeing Snape's underpants again." Peter couldn't help giggling about the fifth year memory of Snape dangling upside down with his gray unwashed underwear for the whole world to see.

Even Sirius could not stay angry when Snape's knickers danced around in his head.

Remus tried to make himself heard above the guffaws and chuckles.

"No I mean the Slytherins obviously don't know that we know about the potion. So why don't we tempt them to do something which they would do thinking they have the upper hand, but in the end fail miserably?" Remus stopped and stared at his friends expectantly.

"Come again" said James weakly trying to make sense out of his sentence.

"Not some prank that they'll retaliate to the very next day. Not petty revenge. This has to be something masterful yet so utterly simple so that when they lose the Slytherins should know that they lost fair and square, making the potion worthless in their eyes."

"Well then How about we play Hide-and-Seek?" three sets of bemused eyes snapped on Peter's blue ones as the smallest Marauder rubbed his palms with suppressed glee.

"C'mon lets go to the common room and plan."


	4. Chapter 4 The Morning After

**#4 The Morning After**

The five sleepy yet jubilant Slytherins swaggered in for breakfast with more arrogance than usual. Poised in the act of sitting down they shot identical smug looks at the Marauders. Potter rolled his eyes and Lupin yawned, shrugging off the degradatory looks flung their way. Pettigrew was too busy digging into the hot buttered toast and scrambled eggs to even notice if Dumbledore cart wheeled in to the Great Hall in his pajamas. Discerning this Snape directed his sneer at the one person who he knew from past experience could neither ignore nor restrain himself from striking back Sirius Black. But to Severus's perplex ion, Black merely batted his eyelashes coyly and blew him a kiss.

Risking a double take Severus settled himself at the Slytherin table.

"All right there Sev?" Lucius questioned switching glances from Snape to the Marauders.

"Nothing" Snape declared. "It just seems as if the Gryffindors are more self assured than usual."

"Well then, may be that would be their down fall." smirked Lucius. Then lowering his voice he continued, "Do I have any reason not to feel confident about the plan Severus?"

"No." snapped Snape irritably. If there was any reason to dampen an imminent Gryffindor defeat, it was Lucius's incessant nagging. Nevertheless he ran through the plan _one more time._

"We draw them out to the forbidden forest."

"Yes?"

"We provoke them to use the cloak."

"Next?"

"We finger them to the authorities!"

"Then?"

"Then what?" Severus hoped that Malfoy the control freak had not revised the plan for the _two hundredth_ time.

"We stay back and gloat of course! Four simple steps. That brings us to the matter of bait. I consider…" Lucius stopped talking as his eyes inspected the incoming owl post.

"Ah! I believe Father has replied." But the black owl who delivered the letter Lucius was holding was not the Malfoys' regular Eagle owl who Severus had come to recognize intimately due to Lucius's chronic letter writing tendencies.

'_Honestly I imagine Lucius writes home if he sneezes to the left instead of right.'_ thought Severus maliciously. Then complete recognition dawned. The owl was Black's. He recognized it from a particular bad memory when Black had instructed his pesky pet to drop a pellet of Silver Snail excreta into his tomato soup making him turn in to a…Severus shook his head ridding himself of the vicious memory.

"Grab the owl" he barked at Crabbe and Goyle while knocking the letter out of Lucius's hand.

The two minions did what they were ordered to do _without thinking _and learned the hard way how a normal looking post owl can turn into a flesh shearing, skin tearing clawing, cutting monster in a matter of seconds.

Lucius merely raised an eyebrow.

"I'm glad you're so happy to hear from my father Sev. You must be lonelier than you're letting on."

As Narcissa erupted in to giggles Snape gave a collective glare and said snidely. "The letter's from Black or maybe I should've let you figure that out while your hand are covered from Burburtuber pus."

"Good thinking" Lucius swung his gaze over to the marauders who were watching the drama closely.

"What about the owl Lucius?" Goyle interrupted still desperately holding on to the clawing menace._ Trust Black to own an owl sharing his own personality._

"Here" Lucius picked up Crabbe's pumpkin juice and pointedly dumped it on the owl and turned to smile nastily at the Gryffindors.

The Marauders looked scandalized as the owl, drenched and dripping hurried to escape out of the window.

In a flash Black sprang up from his table pulling his wand out but both Lupin and Potter wrestled him back into his seat all the while muttering something to him urgently.

The Slytherins laughed even more loudly at the apparent submissiveness of the Brave Gryffindors.


	5. Chapter 5 The Challenge

**#5 The Challenge**

When the laughing and the taunting had subsided, Lucius regarded the white envelope in front of himSnape watched him carefully and could almost read the thoughts that were whirling inside Lucius's blond head: _ 'It hadn't burst in to flames or tried to choke me or transfigured in to a three headed lava spitting fire breathin_g….._STOP! The fact remains that the letter hasn't killed me and it does appear innocent. Maybe I should open it. _

_WHAT AM I THINKING? IT'S FROM BLACK!' _

Severus would have been able to predict the next words even before the thought formed in Lucius's brain.

"Crabbe, You open the letter!"

Crabbe did as he was told. '_He did not die. The letter was safe.'_

Out tumbled a square parchment, its edges elaborately laced with an intricate pattern. In place of a letter-head lay a self modifying picture of the Gryffindor lion crushing a silver snake. Narcissa, Severus, Goyle and Lucius edged closer to Crabbe in order to read the letter. But save for their mascot being slaughtered the parchment was bare.

"If this is Black's idea of a prank." Lucius scoffed. "It has clearly failed."

"Or maybe…" Severus muttered hastily scooting two seats away. "It's on a delayed action charm."

ROAR. The lion had finished murdering the snake.

The Slytherins jumped. Spidery letters appeared on the bottom.

_Moony Wormtail Padfoot & Prongs_ _cordially invite_ _the__ Snakes to be_

_THE LAST MEN STANDING._

_This is a challenge extended out to Lucius 'Lucy' Malfoy, Severus 'Snivellus' Snape, Gregory 'Gar' Goyle and Calvin 'Over Cooked' Crabbe by the Marauders. Its sole purpose is to confirm (once again) the superiority of Gryffindor over Slytherin._

_The challenge would comprise of the capture of the concealed Marauders before the clock strikes 3 Morn. While you may use any means to capture and detain the Marauders they too have consent to use WHICHEVER MEANS to bring you down. The side which has the highest number of contestants still standing wins. The losers would acknowledge the winning house as superior to their own and leave with dignity. (While they can…)_

_Should you choose to accept this challenge, (And we would understand if you do not, being in Slytherin and all…) Arrive at the statue of Mal-Drake the Masked on the third floor, One of us will guide you to the challenge arena._

_As not to be traced back to its origins and chiefly as you are back stabbing Slytherins, this message would self destruct NOW._

With a final stomp at the withering snake, the Gryffindor lion let out a roar complete with tongues of flame which incinerated the parchment and seared Crabbes fingers as he was too slow to drop the letter after reading the final word.

Silence ensued.


	6. Chapter 6 T’was the night before

**#6 T'was the night before the challenge.**

"Hide and seek?" echoed Remus as he followed Peter down the stairway to the dark common room. For once both James and Sirius had nothing to say. Fortunately the room was empty. Everyone was asleep as it was nearly one in the morning. '_Everyone that is, except us_' grumbled Remus under his breath. Thankfully over the years of being a Marauder Remus had perfected the talent of surviving classes (yes even McGonagall's) with a bare minimum of sleeping hours and had also mastered the art of sleeping with his eyes open and yawning with his mouth closed. Skills that were absolutely vital if you shared a room with Sirius Black. Sirius had an uncanny ability to keep others awake when he was awake, with planning and scheming and when he was asleep, through his loud snoring.

"So Pete; what's the brilliant idea? Sirius threw himself onto an arm chair and settled his legs on the coffee table in one fluid movement. He aimed his wand over his shoulder and without turning muttered: "Incendio". Fire sprang up in the grate. James stepped over Sirius's outstretched legs and settled into the sofa. "Hide – and – seek? Like the Slytherins scum hide under the table and we pour boiling porridge on them and when they come running out screaming bloody murder we say; GOTCHA?" he grinned evilly. "Just imagine pretty boy Lucius with a perfect porridge perm!"

"Ha Ha Ha." Sirius and Peter dissolved in laughter. Remus, who was used to James's random bouts of randomness, hushed them. "Settled down guys. We don't want Longbottom to lose his beauty sleep do we? Please explain Peter."

Peter squared his shoulders and paced in front of the fire place like a general readying for his pep talk.

"Yup. Remus wanted a simple concept. It doesn't get simpler than plain old Hide and Seek. Then add whatever modifications James comes up with, to make it as you said: Masterful. Insert any fancy title to satisfy Padfoot's ego and Voila."

Silence

While the Marauders could on occasion, almost accept Sirius being serious, James being jealous and Remus being rakish, Peter being intellectual took them several minutes to get used to.

"Well well well." grinned Sirius with a hint of admiration in his tone. "Maybe there's hope left for you after all."

"Nice one Pete" James got down to business, his hazel eyes flashing with excitement. "What if we organize some kind of an obstacle course along side the hunt?" He suggested.

"Definitely or better yet let's make it a maze with all sorts of obstacles to get past. So the Slytherins will have some...uh..._complications_ while trying to track us down." interjected Sirius with a nasty smile.

"Exactly" James seconded. "Cool" Peter pumped his fist in the air.

"Uh guys! Hate to be the voice of reason and all but unless you're carrying around an expandable maze in your pocket; WHERE IS THIS WONDERFUL OBSTACLE COURSE OF YOUR DREAMS?" Remus just loved to burst pointless bubbles of undue excitement.

"Oh!" Peter deflated visibly.

"Keep your shirt on Moony." laughed James, exchanging a quick glance with Sirius. "You thinking what I'm thinking Pads?"

"You betcha" winked Sirius flashing Remus his most disarming smile. "We know the exact place for ournecessities"

"Well?" Remus's tone was dangerously polite. It simply stated: Don't mess with me _pal_.

"The house elves told us some where back in fifth year. Its one of the special rooms which converts into and includes anything that you want at that moment. It's on the seventh floor. Apparently called The Room of Requirement"

"Ri...ight! And when were you going to _inform_ me about the existence of this room?" Remus snapped irritably.

"Aww Moony" James began but Sirius cut in jauntily. "It kinda slipped our minds and it's not like you need the room any way. Me on the other hand, being a man of many needs put the room to good use."

"Like what?" asked Remus suspiciously not exactly wanting to know the answer.

"Dates mainly. Mmmm…" Sirius licked his lips at the memory. "Who ever invented that room deserved a toast. I was never disappointed."

"So there was more than one time?" drawled James sardonically.

"Yup. Always had what ever I wanted. Candles, flowers, music, wine, beds, whips, hand cuffs…."

"Eww" squealed Peter.

"GROSS" roared James and Remus.

"Enough of Sirius's sick sexual scenarios." James began. "Nice alliteration" smirked Sirius.

James continues ignoring the interruption. "We've got the location and the means to create the maze. Now we need to think up the obstacles."

"Not forgetting outsmarting the See-All potion." put in Remus.

"Right! So the maze would be divided by hedges but lets put in a solid brick wall inside each hedge."

"That way the Slyths can't see through them" exclaimed Peter.

"Marvelous deduction Captain obvious!" laughed Sirius pretending to pat Peter's head.

"Shut up Sirius!" James ordered. "If you want to make your self useful, why don't you write up some sort of invitation to the Slytherins?"

"Invitation? barked Sirius. "What is this? A wedding? I suggest we hex them unconscious and drag them to the room, and when they wake up give them a choice of participation or certain death…uh… I mean hex"

"No" forced out James between laughs. "Peter you help him. Draw some sort of picture or something but make sure to get the point across that we mean business. Now_ go_ and leave the _adults_ to plan"


	7. Chapter 7 Serpentine Conversation

**#7 A Serpentine Conversation**

Snape stared at the smoldering ashes of the challenge his mind working furiously. But before he could move a muscle, the bell rang, signaling the end of a breakfast which he hadn't had the opportunity of taking part other than a hasty swig of black coffee; thanks to the combined contribution of Lucius's nagathon, Black's beast and the infernal invitation.

Lucius stood up and regally offered his arm to Narcissa who was scrupulously searching for any split ends caused by the mini inferno. "I believe we have to attend History of Magic." he declared and turned on his heel and strode out of the hall. "Crabbe, Goyle, Sev coming?

_Yeah sure I'll come to stick something up your _ thought Severus his anger at the Marauders transferring smoothly into anger at Malfoy for including his name in the same sentence as the two dumb drones.

_So the little snits thought Gryffindor was superior to Slytherin didn't they? I guess we'll have to modify that impression._ Severus followed Lucius out of the Great hall suppressing the urge to glance over at the Marauders. _But_ _there had to be a catch. There always is. Why an open challenge? Why is it so thought out? The wretched werewolf's behind this. The date, the time, place, self destructing mechanism…everything planned without a chance for blackmail. Potter isn't smart enough for this. His idea of preparation is shrieking: On the count of three. One…Two…Ten. Black wasn't patient enough. He'd rather attack us at the loo rather than wait until midnight. And Pettigrew wasn't…well he just wasn't._

"Today we will discuss the longstanding effects of the goblin wars, which were introduced in the last lesson. In the early sixteen hundreds, Morwark the Mad extended…"

"Severus" Silence

"Severus" Silence

"Severus listen to me or I'll let all the sixth years know exactly what's rolled up in a sock and shoved behind the third panel to the left of the dorm room door"

_Well…_thought Snape_ it was fun while it lasted. Might as well ignore Malfoy while I can and as for the thing behind the third panel…investigate at your own risk!_

"Well what is it Lucius?"

"Does Binns bore you out of your short term memory? The Challenge that's what! I was just wondering what you're going to do about it?"

"What am _I_ going to do about it? I precisely remember the invitation was out to all of us and that includes you _Lucy_."

Giggling hysterically, Narcissa dragged her desk closer to Lucius making an ear splitting screech on the floor. Many students were jolted awake from their snoring and a few brave one's shot nasty looks at Narcissa. The nasty looks reached halfway around the classroom and with only two feet of Narcissa, turned tail and ran screaming for their life.

"Yes Miss Blog?" The screech had not even escaped the wax ridden ears of Binns.

"It's Black Professor. Isn't Lucy such a _sweet _name?"

"Ye-s –uh- Miss Blank. Now as I was saying Morwark…"

"What are you playing at?" hissed Lucius incensed at being ridiculed by his biggest fan.

"No just that I think it's adorable. Who knew Gryffindor mutts had such a knack for nicknames. What do you say Severus?"

"Yeah Lucy and Cissy real cute!" deadpanned Snape.

"I'll deal with you later." Growled Lucius as he firmly turned his back to Narcissa and faced Snape. "_Fine _so we're in this together. I think that we'll have to modify our plan just a little in order to fit in this new development. So instead of luring them to the forbidden forest we'll spring the trap in their own tournament or whatever.

"Does listening to Binns actually change your genetic make-up? Snape asked in disbelief. "Are you really suggesting that we try to hoodwink the Fantastic foursome in their own much thought out challenge in the middle of enemy territory at twelve o'clock in the night?

"Yes"

"How unSlytherin of you"

Lucius started laughing and banging the desk. Several of the less brave students which included all of the Hufflepuffs shifted their tables away in fright. It's not every day that Lucius laid down his dignity and risked desecrating his family honor by trading the patented smirk for a smile. The Malfoys seemed to live by the motto that while smiling confused your enemies, smirking downright terrorized them.

"I feel like an island" stated Goyle looking around the five feet empty space surrounding them.

Lucius spared a glance at him for actually managing a grammatically and politically correct sentence and then focused on Snape. "How unSlytherin of me? Dear Sev have you ever heard that being predictable is worse than hanging a bulls eye over your heart?

"Actually Lucius I've never heard of that. You just made it up."

"That's irrelevant! Well as I was saying, I am and always will be a model Slytherin Severus, until I die due to old age because Slytherins don't die any other way as they are too smart to be killed by arson treason or poison. That being said do you really think that _I _would walk into a likely trap without being in absolute control of the situation. Please Severus do try to remember that _We always dictate the terms of engagement._"

"Enough already but why can't we stick to our old plan? We dictate the entire scenario of that one remember?"

"Because we were challenged and it's beneath us to refuse."

"Isn't that what Slytherins do though?" spoke up Crabbe with a look of utmost confusion on his fat face.

"What are you implying Crabbe?" hissed Lucius in a low threatening tone.

"That we are cowards?" offered Snape with a sneer.

Lucius's face darkened and Severus braced himself for another longwinded lecture.

"OF COURSE we ARE! _That's _why we're Slytherins you idiot. I meant that we should accept the challenge because that's the unpredictable thing to do."

"Wait a second darling I'm getting confused; if the Marauders challenged us out right and if they have set up a trap it's because they are predicting that we'd come. So technically accepting the challenge is predictable while refusing is not."

Lucius considered Narcissa thoughtfully and after a few minutes of contemplation said

"Shut up and powder your nose."

"Why? Is it too shiny?" wailed Narcissa and started digging around in her handbag for cosmetics.

"Narcissa's right Lucius! Is it just a coincidence that the Marauders come up with a challenge the morning after I finished the See-All potion? Could they have somehow overheard _everything_?"

"The only way Potter and his friends could have eavesdropped was from under the cloak. We all drank your potion remember? So we would have seen them. That is… We would have seen them_ if_ you potion could actually see through invisibility cloaks. If you doubt your own creation Sev maybe I'll call the whole thing off.

"Get stuffed Malfoy it works alright! Don't _you_ remember seeing Goyle's pink underwear last night when Crabbe stepped on his overcoat and ripped it?"

"Shhh" whispered Goyle frantically as all the students turned around and stared at his lower body.

"Believe me I won't forget _that_ in a hurry. The memory alone is potent enough to give me nightmares for the rest of my life." Lucius stopped talking to regard the inquisitive eyes of the Hufflepuffs still zeroed onto them. "What are _you _looking at? I know I'm an attractive sight but if you don't want a _conjunctivitis_ in your face I suggest that you look away."

"So…" he continued "now that we're clear that the Marauders don't know about our…ok fine _your_ little invention, let's plan our 'modus operands'. I'm willing to bet fifty galleons that those fools will stoop to their little cloak to stay out of sight until the time limit is up. So Severus you need to make more See-All potion. Lots of it. Next we'll also need the Draught of Dread and some Confoundus Concoction and any other _nasty_ surprises you can manage."

"… and I'll manage everything in less than ten hours time which includes six classes eating and sleeping time not to mention my personal time to breath?"

"Yes you've got it. Good man Sev."

"Never mind! I know my potions are fabulously wicked and all but I don't think that they alone can _dictate_ the terms of engagement; now can they Lucius?"

"You think too much Snape. Why can't you be more like Narcissa? Wait! I did **_not_** say that! Lucius shook his head to dispel any images formulated in his mind. "Trust me; when we meet the Gryffindors at half past eleven tonight, it will be me directing the show. So don't trouble your self, just remember that we hold _all _the Aces.


	8. Chapter 8 LilyThe Knockout?

**#8 Lily; a knockout? Or merely knocked out?**

**IMPORTANT Please Read**

**I just want to thank all you guys who put aside a minute of your precious time to review this story. Yes that means you, **Poppy Cotton of Underhill, Toby Ho, JediGinny, Katharina-B, lord of destruction , me "the reviewer", shara , BlackKnight , jason , Dark Wizard Killer , Laterdays , jimmynutron , GoldenDays , BartSimpson , prideandjoy , Slughornsbabe, hannah **and **Kristen36

**You have no idea how a few simple words boosted up my spirits and totally ROCKED my day. Please tell me if you liked this chapter. Don't hate me, I think Lily is superb but it just had to be done.**

**Finally I just want to take a poll on who deserves be the Last Man Standing so don't hesitate to name drop. **

**Bye,**

**Seriously Grateful.**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It was three o' clock in the afternoon and the Gryffindors were at double Charms with the Ravenclaws. As Professor Flitwick demonstrated the fire-stream spell, the sleepy Marauders could not help but yawn repeatedly. Leaning across Frank Longbottom, Lily Evans poked James with her quill. "Up all night Potter?" she asked her eyes sparkling mockingly.

Before James could do his usual _yes my love I spent the whole night thinking of you so will you finally go out with me _routine, Sirius cut across saying, "What's it to you Evans?"

"Are you Potter?" Lily retorted raising an eyebrow.

"No I'm Black".

"Well then don't interrupt me, my business is with Potter"

"What's your business with him?"

"None of _your _business Black."

"Racist!"

"_What_ did you call me?"

"You heard me. You're a racist. Just because I'm _"black"_ doesn't mean you can't share your business with me."

While Lily went red with anger the Marauders, Frank and his girlfriend Alice, burst into laughter and James slapped Sirius a high five. The commotion died down with Lily turning away huffily muttering about cheap insults and third-rate jokers and James putting up a totally unconvincing plea of _how he did not mean to laugh. _Remus wisely pulled him away before Lily had any chance of perfecting her unparalleled 'three point spin sideways slam' slapping technique.

"Uh Guys did you notice that Lucius and Snape weren't at Potions today, even Slughorn didn't know where they were." Remus began in a low voice, directing their attention to the issue that had been nagging him for a while.

"Well that's easy to figure out isn't it" James smirked "They're probably draping themselves in bubble wrap as preparation for the challenge."

"Will they turn up though?" Peter questioned in a low whisper.

"They will!" Remus nodded resolutely, "Their absence certifies a probable presence tonight."

"Translation: The Snakes will Show" whispered Sirius as Flitwick flapped his arms and motioned them to be quiet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm bored" Sirius pouted five minutes later, prodding Remus's dutifully written notes that James swore contained _each and every _word Flitwick uttered including all the squeaks and high pitched giggling.Sirius' wand alternately set fire to and extinguished the bundle of parchment while Remus watched in irked fascination, wondering once again how Sirius, the one person among the foursome who had not listened to a word Flitwick said had managed not only to master the complex spell but also its reverse.

"C'mon James let's get out of here and start working on the maze" Sirius moaned.

However, before James could agree as he always did, Remus pointed out the obvious complications. "This class in NOT finished and Peter and I haven't really got the spell yet."

"Aw please!" Sirius rolled his eyes, "If I know you Moony, you won't object to some extra hours in the stinking library until you get it and Wormtail, I can always teach you later."

Remus and Peter exchanged doubtful looks while it was James's turn to roll his eyes. Sirius's crossed his arms defensively.

"What's the fuss Wormtail? It's not like I've broken any promises to you _ever"_

"Well" began Peter thoughtfully, "There was that one time with Dorcas and that day in the ..."

"Zzzz zzz zz." Sirius pretended to snore loudly while mimicking falling to sleep.

"Fine! Fine! What EVER!" Peter shrugged giving up in the face of rock solid denial. "Any plan to get us out?"

"Thought you'd never ask." Smiling widely, Sirius pulled out a seemingly empty vial out of his pockets and tossed it over to Remus. "Levitate that over Evans, mate and uncork it for full effect."

"Why Lily?" protested James, "Don't you understand that you're reducing my chances with her you mutt?"

"Your chances of dating Evans reached negative infinity and got married to the Slytherins' chances of wining the House cup and is currently giving birth to Snape's chances of getting laid" snorted Sirius.

"Why _me _then" questioned Remus stifling a grin as James lunged to strangle Sirius.

"Simple" Sirius grinned pulling away from James's bone crushing headlock. "I aim bad."

"Is that why your bludger knocked out Madam Hooch in the last game? Peter taunted cheekily.

"Get on with it Moony." Sirius snapped, his face flushing at the memory. "Be prepared to bubblehead yourself though." He added as an afterthought.

_Dear Merlin tell me why I'm preparing to empty an unmarked vial, with who knows what, given to me by you know who, on Miss ' I know everything' Evans._ Mused Remus levitating the vial over Lily's head after concealing it with a dillusionment charm.

"Sipio" hemagically unplugged the vial and copied the others as they discretely fashioned transparent bubbles around their heads.

And they waited.

Alice was the weakest. She went down first. Then Frank closely followed by Lily.

Before Flitwick could scurry to the back of the classroom on his short legs, Sirius cleared the air with a quiet 'Expungio'

"What happened?" squeaked the Professor as he stared at the three unconscious students now slumped over their desks.

"It happened so fast Proffesor" gushed Sirius his face set in perfectly faked shock. "I reckon Frank's wand back fired."

"Ennervate." Professor Flitwick waved his wand but save for a bit of twitching, Lily, Frank and Alice remained comatose. By now, all the students were on their feet and edging closer to get a better look. Every single one of the Gryffindors and many Ravenclaws, were shooting the Marauders glances dripping with suspicion as they realized that once again the four troublemakers were up and standing while innocent bystanders bit the dust.

Flitwick started crooning what sounded like a Latin lullaby and engaged in some complicated wand waving. The only apparent result was one single fart from Frank.

One loud stinking fart.

As students scurried as far away from the epicenter of the blast, Sirius seized the opportunity to spin his web of deceit.

"Ewww" he exclaimed his face twisted in distaste despite the fact he was fully shielded by a translucent bubblehead. "That was worse than a three ton stink bomb;I swear the Giant squid must have fainted. Professor let's get them to the hospital wing before Frank farts again."

Flitwick regarded him above a scrunched up nose, then he looked around at the other Marauders, clearly wary of foul play. Quite oblivious, Sirius plowed on.

"Let lover boy James take her professor. That's what the true love does in fairy tales right? Maybe she'll be eternally grateful and go out with him."

Flitwick was unconvinced. Remus was willing to bet his life that the Professor was considering casting a Priori Incantatem to catch the culprit. Somebody had to act. Somebody other than Sirius (who was now prattling about _how_ _they'll live happily ever after_. James was no good, he was staring at Lily, probably never having caught her _ this_ defenseless ever before. Peter came to the rescue.

"It will stop him from asking her out in class." He offered cunningly. That did it. Flitwick nodded like a nutcracker, no doubt remembering the St. Valentine's day disaster last year.

"Yessss! Mister Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew, please oversee the transfer of these students to the infirmary. Hurry back after you've finished. Now no delay's boys."

James levitated Lily, Remus took over Alice and Peter, Frank. Sirius pretended to be a potted plant and slipped out of class unexcused.

They sprinted to the hospital wing keen to avoid a prowling and 'un-dupable' McGonagall. After they deposited the passed out students in Madam Pomfrey's tender care, the Marauders made their way up to the seventh floor.

"What the hell was in the bottle?" Peter asked in wonder.

"Ask no more. Trade Secrets Pettigrew" Sirius grinned.

"Well what ever it was, it was simply outstanding" Peter exclaimed, "Even Flitwick couldn't charm them awake."

"What can I say Peter, Outstanding _is_ my middle name." Sirius's smirked, turning up his collar.

"S-O-B… how fitting." James huffed.

"Hey…" Sirius sulked, but before he began an all out brawl, Remus spoke up quietly.

"That wasn't nice."

"They aren't hurt and it did the job. We're free aren't we?" Sirius shrugged nonchalantly.

"Still…"

"How come you didn't stop me Mr. Perfect Prefect?"

Remus sighed, conceding defeat, not really wanting to explain to Sirius how afraid he was of Snape's invention. Deep in his heart he knew this crazy plan was unnecessary if only he had the guts to put a stop to their animagi adventures before the See-All potion got his friends expelled but Remus also knew that he couldn't bare a single full moon all alone without his best friends, his pack. Looking at James who was unusually quiet, Remus realized guiltily how tough this was on him. If in the past Lily had vowed never to go out with James this incident would galvanize her into ignoring him completely.

James caught Remus's stare and smiled. His hazel gaze spoke volumes: _We're in this together buddy _but _you owe me BIG time. You can start by finishing my Transfiguration essay on Complex Metamorphosis due tomorrow._

Remus smiled back new determination rushing through his veins. The Slytherins caused this and they would suffer the consequences. He, Remus J. Lupin will make up obstacles so tough and demanding that the Snakes will find the NEWTS easier than ordering a house-elf to jump off a cliff.

Room of requirement. Here we come.


End file.
